Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 2

Weather: rainy (blah)
Mood: Up and Down
Someone sick: yes

Anther day, another illness in this house. Colin woke up with a rash on his legs and arms. WTF??? It has since faded, but what the heck is that about? Ahhhhhhhhh

On the good side, instead of wanting to fall on the floor and cry, I started laughing. Yes, it might have been slightly hysterical laughing, but it's better than crying.

Since that lovely start of the day, my emotions have been all over the place. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm laughing, I'm crying, I feel confident, I feel like a shell......and that was in about 20mins. To add to the depression, I'm also dealing with PMS. The week before 'the flow' is 1000x worse for me than the week of. I turn into a total bitch, and have NO control over my mouth. You make me mad? You better watch out. RAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR

I was thinking about this highschool band reunion that is coming up. Running through the pros and cons of going. Not sure any of my group are gonna be there. I haven't seen my girl friends from HS in OMG, 10-11yrs. Only one, Connie, have I seen in the last 4yrs. Geez.....how did I allow that to happen?

I'm horrible at keeping up with people. I truely despise talking on the phone, and am always afraid I'm bothering someone when I call them. I have a horrific fear of the phone. Don't know why....just always have. Facebook has helped me re-connect with people, but still, that's not as 'real' as seeing someone face to face.

I tend to smother my friends. Always afraid they're gonna get tired of me. I get antsy when I don't hear from them regurlaly. Afraid they've forgotten about me. So then I send out txts like "are you mad at me?" or "are we ok?" I mean, who wouldn't get tired of that crap? I would...lol.

No workout today. Just trying to disinfect my house. I call it Cleaning X.

Tune in tomorrow for more of.....Wildcat's ramblings....bwhahahahahaha

3 comments:

  1. /hugs! I share your loathing of the phone. I HATE it more than anything. That's why I love email so much! You get to me when you can get to me and I know I'm not bothering anyone. XD

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  2. About the rash: Did you change detergents? Cause that will cause some passing contact dermatitis, most frequently on your arms and ankles and such.
    About the smothering: Insecurity hits us all. Trust that if they weren't ok with you, they'd let you know. We all wonder about what people think of us (I do it frequently!) but it's like throwing a football. You can only control what YOU do. How you hold the ball, where and how tight you grip... But once it leaves your hands, it's out of your control. Relationships are like that, too. You just have to do what you can do and trust that the people who are your friends will catch what you're throwing out into the world.

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  3. Know that you are still loved after all of these years. You cannot get rid of me too easily! You are a wonderful person and everyone has quirks. Remember my fear of being alone with only one person? I hate it! Sorry you are having a rough year but it is great that you are writing about it. Our English teachers always told us that writing a journal would get things out of our heads and make things better (or was that my mom?) Love ya

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